I am Palm Twitching MAD"
SIMPLE, INTERESTING AND SEXY
Let me start by saying there is a special place in my heart for 50 shades of f%#ked up.
This novel has been scrutinised by academics and avid readers alike. I have seen some really offensive reviews that left me dumbfounded as to how anyone can criticise another person’s work in such a fashion. ESPECIALLY when it has out sold most novels released the same year and... every year after.
I give it 3.5 / 5 low-riding jeans.
Let’s give credit where credit is due please people. This novel has managed to dominate (pun intended) other rivals of a similar nature, including my personal favourite the Crossfire Series.
Academics get so hung up on correctness and the particulars of novel writing. Let’s not forget the original single scroll of On The Road by Jack Kerouac… would that get by the vigorous academic standard of the newly introduced ‘arts’ degree. No is the answer, B.T.W, no it wouldn’t!
Writing is an art, subjective, intrusive, provocative, and should be treated as such. Forget the prose, forget the traditions, 50 shades the grammatical errors (yes I just made 50 shades a verb), and forget the copy-and-paste cringe worthy segments. At what point did we all forget that we read for fun? For Joy? Not because we are pretentious and want to quote Proust… ‘always try to keep a patch of sky above your life.’… Ohhhhh Marcel, you are just the deepest soul… really.
“Sometimes I wonder if there's something wrong with me. Perhaps I've spent too long in the company of my literary romantic heroes, and consequently my ideals and expectations are far too high.” Ana Steel, 50 Shades of Grey…
50 shades of Grey entertains the masses and has a lot of solid dialogue.
So we start with Ana or Anastasia or Miss Steel, who is basically Bella from Twilight, meek, clumsy, brunette, white and lacking. Lacking what? I do not know? Do you? Let me know? But lacking something everyone else has. She is wanted, popular in a sense, intelligent, and confident but still…lacking.
Ana’s best friend and roommate, Kate, has asked her to interview a famous businessman in her stead. Ana finds herself face-to-face with the infamous, gorgeous billionaire Christian Grey who obviously sees her as nothing more than an inconvenience. To start with.
Now one thing that is great about 50, is that it doesn’t Instalove all over your face. It does Instalust all over your face but that's okay, because who hasn’t been there right? Am I right ladies? A hot, billionaire with a thing for lip biting and rosy cheeks will inspire a certain level of Instalust.
Then we have Christian Grey who is basically a human version of Edward Cullen. Deep, brooding, protective and misunderstood. Now Christian's taste in women 'is singular,' and when Ana falls, trips, collapses, damsel-in-distresses all over his face… well the tainted knight in him erects his joist.
So he is hard-core after her, wanting to … not make her a notch on his bed post, but rather chain her to a notch on his bedpost. Of course, he doesn’t know why he is 'incapable of staying away from her' and she despises him and his sexual preferences for the most part.
It is a strange-not-strange, and yet obvious and confusing oxymoron kind of attraction for them both… or perhaps just the moron part, of oxymoron.
The emails are my favourite thing about this book. The subject lines had me in fits of laughter as did the word play. Her emails are sassy, witty and challenging, she tops-from-the-bottom and he hates to love it. I just loved it. Ana seems to really express herself in her emails and has a wicked little bite.
This is what sets the Ana Steel character apart from the Belle Swann character… she is funny. She is really funny. On occasions I wanted to strangely her but for the most part she displays this weird and wonderful energy that I irrevocably like in a female protagonist.
The characters have layers, they are both funny when warranted, agitating, passionate and aggressive. Christian has a backstory, this is really the basis for the entire plot line. Unfortunately Ana doesn’t. Personally I’d like to know why Ana is the way she is? Why she is drawn to a Dante of a man? and why she is so inexperienced and naiive?
The chemistry between Grey and Ana is well established straight away and only intensifies. E.L James does this well. They are involved in a tango of sorts throughout the entire book. Your traditional YA and NA romances alway have this tango, stepping on each other’s toes, leading when the other wants to and following when there is no leader.
I judged this book by what it was. It was meant to entertain … and 50 delivers. Don’t over analyse and stop hating, cause 'haters gonna hate.' My girl Taylor Swift taught me that.
What I disliked… Sigh.
1: Some of the dialogue made my eye twitch. She refers to a demon on the shoulder type of character, her "inner goddess..." Yep, that is what she calls this alter-ego. Who is really just Freud's EGO, horny and demanding, and seems to do a lot of acrobatics when Grey is around.
More dialogue I hated... "Oh my? Oh my?" …Who says that? I'll tell you, no one under the age of 65, thats who. Oh my god would suffice, omg, or what the fuck? But no 20 something year old says oh my…
2: There are a few lines that seem copy and pasted throughout the book, and just ruin the scene... lines that are copy and pasted throughout the book, and just ruin the scene... lines that are copy and pasted throughout the book, and just ruin the scene. Over and over again..."His pants hang around his hips." Yes we know… fuck, do we know! Ana we know! He has a nice torso. His jeans hang low around his hips. We get it. Please for the love of Dante don’t say it again!
My final thoughts: Read it and relax, because it won’t challenge you but it will entertain you. Have a fucking cosmopolitan and don’t be a hater… it is what it is.